Title: Fangs for Nothing
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Series: The Impalers (Book 2)
Publication Date: July 2, 2013
Format: Paperback, 304 Pages
IBSN-10: 0425257444 (Berkley/Penguin)
IBSN-13: 978-0425257449 (Berkley/Penguin)
Reviewed by: Steph
When one of their own ties the knot with a dominatrix (no pun intended), The Impalers—a vampire rock band—are ready to party down. But trouble awaits them once again when they wake up?
Attending their bandmate Saxon’s wedding seemed simple enough for Johnny Malone and Drake Hanover. But after waking up in a dominatrix’s dungeon, they realize their cash and cell phones have been stolen—along with the bride’s wedding dress and the groom. And then there’s the matter of the two women in the room?
Loose cannon Johnny is handcuffed to Lizette, an uptight paper pusher. She wants to help save Johnny from the horrible fate in store for him at the hands of the Vampire Alliance, but he won’t sign the paperwork. Then there’s Josie, the waifish caterer from the reception, who rescues Drake from a sex swing. Josie may be cute and make a great cupcake, but Drake knows she might also be the thief. Or it could have been that gang of drag queens all dressed as Cher?
Regardless, Johnny and Lizette need to get out of these handcuffs. Drake and Josie need to find their missing belongings. And Saxon needs to be located before the Vampire Alliance comes down on them hard.
Quick & Dirty: Always be very careful about what you drink at a party, even if it’s a wedding reception. You never know when you might wake up in a dominatrix’s dungeon handcuffed to a person you just met with no memory of the previous night!
Opening Sentence: When Johnny Malone jerked out of sleep suddenly, he became aware of three things in rapid succession.
When I read the synopsis for this book, I wasn’t sure what I was going to think. I figured it was either going to be incredibly bad or a light and fun read. Thankfully, while there were some issues, for the most part, this really was a fun book!
This is the second book in the Impalers series and focuses on four main characters: Johnny, Lizette, Drake, & Josie Lynn. Lizette comes to New Orleans as a representative of the Vampire Alliance. She is supposed to investigate the “death” of Johnny Malone. Despite Johnny’s protestations that he actually faked his death to avoid a girl, Lizette is required to continue her investigation. To further that end, she follows Johnny to his friend Saxon’s wedding, intent on questioning him further. While they talk, they end up having a few glasses of punch. The next thing they know, they’re waking up in the bride’s dominatrix dungeon (yes, you read that right) handcuffed together with no memory of the previous night.
At the same wedding, Drake meets Josie Lynn, the caterer, when he uses her to try and deter an over-amorous bridesmaid. Josie does not take kindly to Drake’s actions and wants nothing to do with him, especially when his actions caused her to ruin one of the dishes for the wedding reception. Throughout the course of the night, they each have a glass of punch. The next thing they know, Josie wakes up wearing nothing but Drake’s shirt, while Drake is strapped into a sex swing. Now, these four people must try and piece together what happened last night. The big question is, can they do that without killing each other first?
As I said earlier, this was a very light and fun read that never took itself too seriously. I think my main complaint would be that, with there being four main characters, there didn’t seem to be enough time to focus on character development. Each character had a back story that was hinted at, but never really delved into deeply, which is disappointing because the hints that were given really pricked my curiosity. I would especially have liked to get more detail on Drake’s past and what happened to make him a vampire. A bit more depth would have helped me connect to the characters more.
One other thing that bothered me involved the transitions between chapters. A chapter would end with Josie asking Drake a question. The next chapter would be with Johnny and Lizette in a completely different location, and then the following chapter would begin with Drake answering Josie’s question. It would take me a few seconds to remember what the question had been, which really disrupted my enjoyment of the book.
Despite its issues that kept me from giving it a higher rating, this ended up being a very fun, light read. I have not read the first book in the series and had no problems understanding what was going on. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to take a break from some of the more serious/darker books in the genre.
“I’m ready. What is our plan?”
“The plan is to run past the alligator. If he snaps, I whack. That’s it. Nothing fancy.”
“In other words, you do not really know what to do.”
Well, she supposed she could appreciate his honesty. “Understood. Shall we? On the count of three?”
“Let’s just go.” Johnny pulled open the door and they both ran. Which was something of a challenge, given that they were attached at the wrist and they both tried to squeeze to the left, out of the path of the alligator’s jaw. They were stumbling and bouncing, Johnny’s free arm swinging with the crop even though the alligator wasn’t doing a damn thing. He just sat there looking like they were a couple of complete idiots. He was probably right.
1. The Fangover
FTC Advisory: Berkley/Penguin provided me with a copy of Fangs for Nothing. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
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