Author: Molly Harper
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Series: Jane Jameson (Book 4)
Publication Date: February 28, 2012
Format: Paperback, 368 Pages
ISBN-10: 1451641818 (Pocket Books)
ISBN-13: 978-1451641813 (Pocket Books)
Reviewed by: Kiwi
With This Ring, I Thee Dead
Just as Jane Jameson’s unlife seems to be stabilizing, fate sinks its fangs firmly into her butt. Despite her near-phobia of wedding planning, her no-frills nighttime nuptials to her sexy boyfriend, Gabriel, are coming along smoothly. That is, until she turns a fatally wounded teenage acquaintance, and the Council pronounces her responsible for the newborn vamp until he can control his thirst.
Jane’s kitchen barely holds enough Faux Type O to satiate the cute teen’s appetite and maintain Gabriel’s jealous streak at a slow simmer. As if keeping her hyperactive childe from sucking the blood out of the entire neighborhood isn’t enough to deal with, the persnickety ghost of Jane’s newly deceased grandma Ruthie has declared was on the fanged residents of River Oaks. Suddenly choosing monogrammed cocktail napkins and a cake she can’t even eat seens downright relaxing in comparison.
Tensions inside the house are growing… and outside, a sinister force is aiming a stake straight for the center of Gabriel’s heart. Most brides just have to worry about choosing the right dress, but Jane fears that, at this rate, she’ll never make it down the aisle for the wedding all nice girls dream of…
Quick & Dirty: Here comes the bride, or something like that.
Opening Sentence: Three months after he moved into my ancestral home, Gabriel Nightengale’s last box was finally unpacked.
For this fourth, and apparently final, installment of the Jane Jameson saga, there are some happy, some sad, and a whole lot of angry moments.
Gabriel has moved in to Jane’s family home, and it seems the two lovebirds might have a chance at eternal happiness, or at least whatever the Jane version of that might be. But things like this never last very long in Jane’s world, and you know I’m right.
During his shift as deliveryman in Jane’s store, young Jamie Lanier is struck by a car in the alley nearby. When he professes the will to live, Jane turns him into a vampire. Vampire law states that it is the job of the sire to usher the newly turned into the undead life and so Jane and Gabriel end up with a long term roommate. Having an unstable teenager in their household truly makes the engaged couples life interesting.
And that was before someone started going after Gabriel. You see, while having some, um…fun in the backyard, (because we all know that that doesn’t happen around kids very often) Gabriel is struck with a poisoned arrow that nearly costs him his unlife. Some investigating is done, some more harm is done and yet another plot for revenge is uncovered surrounding him. Man, this guy has truly made some crazy people his enemy. Funny, that this time, it is Gabriel that ends up being the one shot by a drunk redneck.
Also in this installment we finally say goodbye (and good riddance!) to Jane’s Grandma Ruthie. But, as we have come to learn, nothing goes easily in the world of Jane. Ruthie does kick the bucket, but she stays around in ghost form, and continues her efforts to ruin Jane’s life. She even goes as far as to destroy Jane’s beautiful Austen style wedding gown. But by the end, Jane’s friends and family find a way to get rid of her for good, and let me tell you, no one could have come up with a better ending.
Andrea and Dick have a happy ending. Yes, ladies this stud muffin is officially off the market, and he and his former blood-surrogate, now vampire wife are happy as clams.
Zeb and Jolene are taking the role of parents by storm, and their new home near Jane’s is complete and beautiful.
And on a sad note, Aunt Jettie and Mr. Wainwright have decided to permanently leave us and cross over to the great beyond, or wherever they might be going. And we’ll miss them, I’m sure.
All in all, it was a nice way to end the series. Everyone’s storylines were settled, most of the main characters were given their HEA. Heck, even Jane and her witchy sister are getting along.
A few more conversational snippets from this book as well.
He frowned. “So, it’s OK if I don’t want to be Mr. All-American Jock anymore?”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “OK, but you should be warned, if you start wearing guy-liner and go all Prince of the Undead on me, I’m going to pull embarrassing mom stunts in public. Calling you ‘sweetie’ in front of your peers. Discussing your showering habits and questionable stains in public. I’ll put my heart and soul into your humiliation.”
“Why would you do that?”
“To amuse myself. Seriously, do you pay attention when I speak?”
“And don’t you ever do anything like that again! I am the one who ends up in stupid life-threatening situations. You are the levelheaded, responsible one in this relationship. Got it? This is how this whole thing works. We have to stick to our designated roles, or there is chaos!”
Dick snickered. “It’s true. If Zeb suddenly starts being all dashing and sexy, what am I going to do?”
Zeb took offense to this. “Hey, I can be dashing and sexy! Jolene says I’m like the human Wolfman.”
“Jolene lies,” Gabriel told him, his voice slightly hoarse from disuse.
Dick agreed. “A lot.”
“I’m going to play Madden with Jamie. He respects me, at least,” Zeb grumbled.
“No, I don’t!” Jamie called from downstairs.
“Please, I’m ten times happier as a vampire. My only regret is that I can’t track down a boyfriend or two and use my evil vampire powers to hypnotize him into stripping naked and dancing the Highland Fling every time he hears the word ‘hello’ “
“But he would hear is several times every day,” I told her.
“What’s your point?”
The Jane Jameson Series:
FTC Advisory: Simon & Schuster/Pocket Books graciously provided me with a copy of Nice Girls Don’t Bite Their Neighbors. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
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