Author: Molly Harper
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Series: Jane Jameson (Book 3)
Publication Date: December 29, 2009
Format: Paperback, 336 Pages
ISBN-10: 1416589449 (Pocket Books)
ISBN-13: 978-1416589440 (Pocket Books)
Reviewed by: Kiwi
UNEXPECTED UNDEAD BREAK-UP
Nothing sucks the romance out of world travel like a boyfriend who may or may not have broken up with you in a hotel room in Brussels. Jane Jameson’s sexy sire Gabriel has always been unpredictable, but the seductive, anonymous notes that await him at each stop of their international vacation, coupled with his evasive behavior over the past few months, finally push Jane onto the next flight home to Half Moon Hollow — alone, upset, and unsure whether Gabriel just ended their relationship without actually telling her.
Now the children’s-librarian-turned-vampire is reviving with plenty of Faux Type O, some TLC from her colorful friends and family, and her plans for a Brave New Jane. Step One: Get her newly renovated occult bookstore off the ground. Step Two: Support her best friend, Zeb, and his werewolf bride as they prepare for the impending birth of their baby…or litter. Step Three: Figure out who’s been sending her threatening letters, and how her hostile pen pal is tied to Gabriel. Because for this nice girl, surviving a broken heart is suddenly becoming a matter of life and undeath….
Quick & Dirty: Watch that ex baby, she’s crazy.
Opening Sentence: My life didn’t begin until I died.
In episode three of the life of Jane Jameson, her life continues on in Half Moon Hollow, mostly without Gabriel. During what was supposed to be the trip of her undead life, Jane is getting increasingly suspicious of Gabriel’s behavior. They start bopping from hotel to hotel, the secret calls, and mysterious love letters keep coming, and Jane has finally given up.
When she gets up the nerve to confront Gabriel, he sends her home alone and still will not give her any kind of explanation. When she turns up home early, and without her paramour, her girlfriends are there with the traditional therapy…desserts and sappy movies, and her guyfriend Dick treats her to his kind of therapy…a drunken bar-fight. These actually do make it marginally better, and Jane decides to move on with her life and her new bookstore.
When Jane returns to work, in her mail is a letter from the same person sending them to Gabriel, telling Jane all about their relationship, and making Gabriel look even worse. Jane tries to just ignore the letters, until they get spooky and stalker-ish, and Jane then comes under attack. This brings Gabriel back into the fold, and the truth is finally revealed. You see, Jane is not Gabriel’s first vampire childe. He once turned a young woman, and she is back to claim her lover and his blood. Gabriel has spent the last months trying to take care of the situation without bringing Jane in. Bad choice, because she’s back and she’s made some friends no one likes.
Oh and before I go on, let me tell you…Jane has also decided to take a turn as a member of the Chamber of Commerce, an insane pack of bottle blonds named Courtney, the head of which insists on running Jane’s life. These chicks are almost as crazy as Gabriel’s ex.
Congratulations go out to Zeb and Jolene who, after a five month pregnancy, are the proud parents of a set of twins. Join us as we follow the pregnancy and the poor Daddy’s imminent psychological collapse. Poor Zeb is more comfortable when the babies aren’t his own, I guess. But they make it through beautifully, and he becomes the hit of the high school reunion.
Also congrats to Dick as he finally has a relationship with the beautiful Andrea. The pair now work at Jane’s bookstore, and things are going great. That is, until Andrea is taken prisoner by that crazy psycho who’s after Jane, and ends up turned into a vampire. Which, after all, isn’t a bad thing when the love of your life is already undead.
I was perusing the reviews for this one on Amazon and a few of them made a point that I find rather valid. There isn’t much romance in this third book, in fact the series hero is conspicuously absent for most of it, and is made to look like a complete ass. From the weirdness at the end of their “romantic” trip through Europe, the letters, their possible breakup, and his inept excuses for his behavior, Gabriel is the villain throughout of this book as much as he is supposed to be the hero.
This doesn’t translate to a bad story, just a bit of confusion when you see it branded as a paranormal romance, that’s all. But all is well that ends well, I guess.
I picked some snippets of fun conversation instead of a single scene again for this review.
“I have to,” I mumbled. “I’m in charge of the prizes for the charity carnival.”
Andrea hooted. “they’ve pulled you in!”
“They did not!”
“They made you their prize b**ch! And not in the dog show way. You might as well have given them all your milk money and then done their homework for them.”
“I told you, they’re scary. And blond.”
“Zeb said we should bring over the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but Andrea thought you’d get all depressed,” Jolene told me.
“Yeah, because what’s the point of watching Buffy if you’re not watching the second-season episodes with Spike in them?” I asked, uncorking the bottle of wine. Andrea poured me a large glass. “Hmmm. I wonder if it would be unethical for me to turn James Marsters? And then force him to fake the Cockney accent? And then make him my love monkey?”
“You read up on stalking?”
“I had someone paint ‘Bloodsucking Whore’ on my car a year ago. It merited a Google.”
“I don’t like it,” Dick said, grimacing.
“I think the very word stalking implies that you’re not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called ‘fluffy harmless observation time,’ “ I said, chewing my lip.
“How could you do that to your own grandmother?”
“Let me get this straight. You’re yelling at me for my behavior during a conversation with Grandma Ruthie, in which Grandma Ruthie yelled at me for how I behaved during a conversation with you?” I sighed. “Do you two organize a ‘be a pain in Jane’s ass’ schedule?”
“She could have had a heart attack!” Jenny insisted.
“Oh, please, Ruthie’s an unstoppable force of nature, like the Black Plague or Richard Simmons.”
The Jane Jameson Series:
FTC Advisory: Simon & Schuster/Pocket Books graciously provided me with a copy of Nice Girls Don’t Live Forever. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
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